Archive of ‘Column’ category

Column: Being yourself

If there is one thing in life you are certain of, it is the fact that no matter what your parents love you. You may not have the perfect relationship with them but whatever you do, they will love you. So you really don’t want to disappoint them. But what if what you want, is going to disappoint them anyway?

Parents always want the best for you. I like to believe that and in my case it is certainly so. But what if I don’t want what they want for me? I have struggled with this for a while. Pleasing my parents versus what I wanted for me. I’ve learned that you need to do what works for you, because in the end you are the only one who is responsible for your own happiness. You’re going to disappoint people anyway, no matter what you do. But as long as it makes you happy, you made the right decision. People need to accept the you you want to be.

A few months ago, I wrote a post about getting my septum pierced. My parents really weren’t happy about that at all. And they certainly aren’t afraid to tell they hate it. ALL THE TIME. Every time I go to visit them, they always ‘advise’ me to get rid of it. And it’s really frustrating because this is who I am. I love my piercing. It’s not that I can’t appreciate honesty, I do. There are also a few friends who expressed their feelings about it. One time. I do not want nor need to be confronted by it all the time. Just accept who I am already! Don’t let physical features define who you are as a person! 

In March, I also got two tattoos on my arm. One represents the birthdays of my parents, my sister and me, and the rose is the favourite flower of my grand-mother and godmother Marie-Louise. I’ve always been a sucker for tattoos. I’ve wanted them for a while now and finally decided to get one (or two or…) done.

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I knew my parents wouldn’t approve. And yes they are disappointed in me. But I love them. I love what they represent, I love the way they look, I love everything about them. When I go to visit my parents I always dressed appropriately with long sleeves, so they didn’t even know I had them until a couple of days ago. I thought that honesty would be better. Honesty is always better. So I told them about the tattoos. They haven’t really responded but I know they disapprove. They just need a little time to adjust to the idea I guess.

In the meantime I love the fact that I finally had the courage to speak up, and be who I want to be. You shouldn’t feel ashamed about what makes you happy. If you want something, go get it! Make yourself happy! Even if that means disappointing the ones you love. But if it’s true love, they will always find a way to accept the you you are becoming!

Daphne2

Column: September is here

 I can’t deny it any longer. Wondering through the streets of Ghent, I can only confront myself with the fact that fall is coming closer. In every store new wintercollections are displayed. Windowshopping in winter is fun; you can dream about drinking cocktails at the beach and having that perfect sun kissed skin. You must enjoy that because by the end of the summer the bright colors have to make room for Mr Black and Mr Brown. 

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It may seem that I dislike the more colder months. Nothing is less true. I love fall. Nothing feels more like a fresh start then the month of September. Not even New Year’s Eve can compare to the feeling I get when September begins. Why do you ask? There lots of reasons why. When you’re young summer is about making decisions in your life. Mostly about the studies you’ll take up. When the ninth month begins you’re making these choises come true. But don’t forget about the fashion part. Whether you made changes in the job you’ll do or  which courses you’re going to follow, you change your habitat. Changing your habitat means that you’ll meet new people. New people who don’t know you yet, so you want to make a good impression. For most people, the first impression is made by something you’re wearing. That’s why a sense of any style is so important. Since we’re talking about this crazy month when everybody spends their money on new clothes and hairstyles, we mustn’t and cannot forget about ‘The September Issue’. Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief for American Vogue magazine, even made a film about it. If you ever want to buy Vogue, you should buy the September issue. It’s the fashion bible; it sets the trend for the year that’s coming.

Have a lovely start of this new (fashion) year!

Daphne2

Column: Easy come, easy go?

Anais

When do you know if you’ve outgrown a relationship? And most importantly, how do you deal with it? These are questions that kept me busy the last few weeks. When you scroll through your Facebook or Instagramfeed, chances are high that you stumble upon one or two quotes about friendship. I recently posted one myself: “Friends come and go like waves of the ocean, but true ones stay like an octopus on your face.” It’s funny, but is this really true? When do we know if a relationship passed it’s expiration date?

If you’re in your twenties, you go through a lot of changes: you graduate, you start working, you get to know a lot of different people and you get to know yourself better. You start to realise what you want in life, which goals you want to achieve and with whom you want to spend your life. You may come to the conclusion that your life is not how you imagined it to be. That’s the moment you realise that something needs to change. This is where I am at the moment. Like Anaïs Nin -favourite author du moment– would say: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Before changing anything you need to know which aspects you’re not happy with. Is your job not giving you the satisfaction you need? Do you feel like you’ve been pressured in taking decisions you did not want to make? Are your friends holding you back? Once you realised what you’re missing in your life, you can change it. For example: if you’re not happy with your job, just change it. Going to drop a massive cliché here but life really is too short to be wasting your time not chasing what you really want.

In my case, I wasn’t really happy about the friendships in my life. I was missing profound interactions with my people. Sadly enough we live in times were its super easy to ‘maintain’ relationships by excessive texting or talking on the phone. This, however, may never ever be the substitute for real-life communication. Relationships can only be maintained by seeing each other, it’s the only way to make sure you grow together, otherwise chances are high you’ll grow apart. Realising that you and your friends are falling apart is a tough cookie to swallow.

There are two ways to handle this situation. Option one: you don’t talk about your feelings and you move on. This way you and your long-time friend fall apart without knowing why and you’ll probably end up with a lot of pent-up feelings. Option two: you talk about your feelings and you both accept that things are changing but you value each other enough to maintain the relationship (on a different level). I strongly recommend going for option two, even though expressing your feelings may be hard and a discussion may be in the making. In my opinion: rule number one is being honest to yourself. Rule number two in any kind of relationship: you have to have the possibility to be honest to each other about how you feel. If you feel like you can’t be open to your friends or significant other, you probably are wasting your time on the wrong people because being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones!

 

 

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